Monday, June 15, 2009

Virtual Happymaking with Friends

Love hurts! says the song and now I think it means any kind of love...not just romantic relationships, but friendships also. I also think I lost a friend yesterday but well we won't study this particular issue :-) especially as I also consider nothing gets lost and people telling you suddenly they will no longer talk to you will sooner or later feel sorry about it and come back to you.

So this post it's about friendship and long distance relationships with friends and NO no virtual worlds and no Second Life although I named it "virtual" :-) Just plane emails, chat and whatever we use to connect with friends living far away. I could think about some advices regarding long distance friendship and how to make it work so here they are:
  • YOU keep in touch: don't always expect to be contacted and be just the "Reply to" person. After all it's not a dating game and you don't really appear to be lame if you make the first move.
  • Answer back: we spend so much time answering all kind of emails and always postpone answering emails from friends asking us how we are doing cause we sort of imagine they would expect some 1000 characters email. They are not and a "I am doing fine, nice to hear from you" wouldn't hurt more than no answer at all. And yes, we are all busy so being busy DOESN'T make you special or excuses you :-)
  • Avoid contradictory chat (touche :-) ) yeap, don't discuss things you wouldn't talk about with your mother over chat. If she wouldn't understand it nobody will. Ask for a Skype call or just a call if possible (another reason for using skype or something else- do ask your friends to make an account). People tend to make very FINAL decisions if they are not talking to you, like: Never ever, Forget me, and so on. I guess cause it's easier for them to write them instead of saying them. So if you really want to avoid premature goodbyes just CALL!
  • Leadership lesson no 5 in the book I am reading: Think Twice before you Act and especially Overreact! That being said again no "funny" emails and ever lasting break ups over email (and that's happening in some cultures more frequently..unfortunately) Get serious people! Count till 50 and hold that thought before clicking on SEND.
  • Try being there: if you asked a questions once, even not to the same person expect to be asked also. After all friendship it's all about helping each other, that being said for people thinking about it as if this would make friendship a less sacre thing.
Well then the big news is FRIENDSHIP is a common thing and it's a feeling we all should have. Being helpful, careful and nice shouldn't just be towards preferred persons. I know we do that more or less also cause sometimes friends feel like they are less special if they are not the best friend or so. In this regard I must also say that I don't have BEST friends: I do have many friends, they all are special to me and have their own place in my heart but wouldn't treat one differently just because I keep them 2 inches lower from the center of my heart :-) (won't get into advanced discussions on freidnship in our times as this is for awake people and I am somehow in a sleepy mode so maybe I couldn't make you understand me now :-)) So just be good to everyone and don't do anything you would regret later on!

That being said: GOOD Morning, my friends! 4.28am now in Hannover ;-) Back to bed!
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Heather Kephart said...

That's great advice! What a sweet person you are.

Mihailescu said...

thanks you Happymaker :-) some friends from abroad also saw it although I posted it so late :-) and strongly agreed #happymaking