Friday, March 13, 2009

The Happymaking Challenge

Last week I was pretty challenged as two persons asked me for help and were not really fitting the profile I am usually have for happymaking. I must say I felt pretty reluctant to helping them out of their trouble as I had all the time a feeling that they may try cheating me or something worse, but I kept telling myself it was the right thing to do.

So now my question: do we really help only people we like and trust? I mean who wouldn't help some little angels like these here or some old ladies or our families and closest friends, or people we already know or are known by some of our contacts. But would we take home a person crying in the train station cause she/he has no more money to travel to their home country and no contacts in your country? Would you give her money to go back even if she doesn't look trustworthy or you keep blaming her for ending up in this situation and not planning this better? Or would you think this is a set up? Would you help a girlfriend who messed out with wrong man and got hurt? Or just say it was all her fault and forget about it?

All thoughts have their own right to exist in our mind, but which one will win? Will we do the right thing even if knowing there is a chance to be fooled and tricked? I would, I did, hardly but did it...I guess there are some good reasons for doing this:
  • We are good by nature and try to see the good part first
  • Our conscience tells us we need to do something about it
  • We know that if we didn't help someone asking for our kindness we would probably ask ourselves for a long time what happened to that person...and think we could have helped him but we didn't :-(
  • We would want to find people able to help us also, if we were in the same situation
  • We try to see beyond appearances and are aware that misjudging people can have very negative results..mainly cause we experienced it more than once
  • We know this doesn't happen on a daily basis, we don't meet these people all the time, so we can afford investing some time, money and feelings in a higher amount...
I know you may say that's a nonsense or that this can only have with religion to do, but it's not. It's out human kind, our way of being that got locked under our daily routine, under our desire to prove that we are better, we can plan things and avoid bad events and that everyone is getting what they deserve. Well it's not like that and in one moment you can be on the other think twice before not giving a hand and reaching out!

Challenge yourself to help people who are different, who are in different situations, who weren't worthy of having your attention until now! People you never tried to help!


Ea said...

Hi Silvia, I love this post and I am happy to find I'm not the only one who thinks this way. Many many times have I helped people who in the end cheated me.

I feel embarrassed about some of my examples, because I had the gut feeling that they would, but I still helped them.... I think it would be too hard for me not to, so I live with the label of being naive - still, I prefer that to cynic.

Off course its a fine balance, because you do need to protect yourself a bit. A metaphor for this is if you are in an airplane that looses pressure, you must secure your own oxygen mask before helping others with theirs. Only when you have oxygen, are you able to help.

So when you help others you don't know, make sure that you can live with it, if they cheat you or take advantage of you.

Mihailescu said...

Thank Ea :-) and yes I think the last thing you mentioned is the most important: you have to live with the decision you make and be sure you won't have any regrets no matter what