Friday, February 20, 2009
Special Types of HAPPYMAKEEs: LHH
Now I know that's not a very happy picture :-( and indeed it looks pretty creepy and scary, but that's because people are not always happy. And you may say "Yes, but most of the time we don't look like that" which is true, BUT there are also other kinds of people, persons with personality disorders, living next to us, working with us, being part of our lives and interfering with our world. I will name them the LHH: Less Happy Happymakee.
The reason why I am writing this is because I was reading a book on personality disorders and how to deal with each type and I realized that you can't possibly try to make a paranoid person happy the way you would try making a narcissist feel better. So in order to know what to do you really need to understand this types of personalities first. As the book was in Romanian here is a link to a good&short article in English explaining the major differences among these personalities.
Now I know that you may be reluctant to this as most of us think LHHs are usually living in hospitals or consider ourselves perfectly sane until someone proves that we are wrong and that's why we need to understand that everyone has some characteristic patterns of perceiving and relating to other people and events. The difference is in HOW MUCH, HOW OFTEN and HOW INTENSE we tend to behave in a certain unnatural way. For example some people minimize problems; others exaggerate them, some cry for nothing, others laugh when they are in pain, some always feel threaten, others through themselves in the most dangerous situations without carrying and much more. Regardless of their usual style, however, mentally healthy people are likely to try an alternative approach if their first try is ineffective.
Another reason why I consider this extremely important is because what we say, do or try can be fatal if it's applied to the wrong type of personality. For example if you have a very paranoid colleague, you wouldn't start laughing with other colleagues in a corner without explaining why you are laughing loudly- he will automatically think you are laughing about him...and he'll get sad, angry and eventually drive you to say something mean to him and then he'll feel good proving that he was right all along thinking that the others were really hiding something from him and feels pleased that he has such a twisted mind and can identify something bad before it really happens. Hope you understand what I mean and I am sure some of you have already identified some persons you could never joke with.
Anyway, as taking each type would probably be way too long (didn't even get the chance to talk about my favorite: the hysterical colleague, which although you love and is a carrying person may drive you insane sometimes :-)) wish you will read the article or any other article/book on this and adapt your HAPPYMAKING to the types of personalities you'll identify. Wish you luck! And remember: LHHs also deserve to be happy, so give it a try;-)