Tuesday, September 2, 2008

And sometimes happymaking hurts also

It's sort of a sad day for my happymaking theory as I got to discover that although I try to make somebody happy and had the feeling that I was even succeeding, I was dealing with a strange person who actually didn't care about my actions, or my thoughts, or about my time invested in making her happy.

I know we must try making others happy by no conditions, no wish for a later "Thank you" or even not even being noticed that we were the ones who made it possible. But yet as human it really hurts when we notice the contrary. Let's not take a love relationship as example cause we suppose in this kind of a relationship there is a both-ways happymaking. But think about you helping a friend and then getting hurt by him....or a colleague at work...who didn't experience that? Moments when you swore you'll never do any good to somebody again. And that's even harder when you had as goal to make somebody really happy. Then the entire action seems to be a complete waste of time and energy.

So if you don't have this immunity when it comes to getting your feelings hurt, then you should probably learn how to deal with this kind of situations. As it also happens to me and I still stand up and try happymaking others again and again (maybe not with the same person if I am too upset), here are some thoughts on how to deal with this "failure":
  • admit it was not your fault and that trying to make others happy it's still a noble act and shouldn't be discontinued just because somebody disappointed you
  • if you could really help the person who hurt you, then try talking about this one more time. After all the result can be more important than how you got to it.
  • if one is bad then it doesn't mean that all people are so. there are still friends, colleagues, family or even strangers out there who really need a smile and your attention
  • and last, try considering this less fortunate situation as a test of your capacity to learn more about people and not to give up on them
And now, smile and go to work ;-) !

4 comments:

max said...

I really liked this post. Don't lose hope, be happy! :-)

Mihailescu said...

thanks max :-)

Dario de Judicibus said...

Happiness is a short term status. Serenity is a long term one. :-) You cannot be happy forever or in any moment, but you can face the life with no anger and fear.

Silvia said...

serenity- The quality or state of being serene; clearness and calmness; quietness; stillness; peace.

you can talk about happiness,serenity, peace...they are different...and happiness can last longer than one moment...

but the main thing is that we can't make others feel serene so easy...unless you marry one and teach him/her what the real meaning of life is... and that's not sometthing we can do with all people. so until then, I suggest to take small steps and make people HAPPY.